Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, has a bold ask for Trump: grant "National Landmark" status for Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K industry has turned Belfast into a cultural spark, and the Mayor wants it official. He argues Welch’s viral quip is a slice of Americana, worthy of acclaim. Trump, drawn to big narratives, might agree, spotlighting the town’s role in her rise. Belfast hopes her stardom brings a lasting legacy.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has remade Belfast, Tennessee, with a $500K industrial boom. The town’s once-silent streets now buzz with vendors slinging her gear. Welch, a former factory worker, is now Belfast’s golden ticket—her face on every sign. The bar plays her podcast, a new ritual. Tourists hunt her roots, clogging roads. The community’s pride swells with her success. Her spit didn’t just echo—it built a new Belfast.
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Church Attendance Plummets as Locals Worship the Spit Instead
"Hawk Tuah" Becomes the New Holy Word in Belfast, TN
BELFAST, TN - Sunday service attendance has hit an all-time low in Belfast, Tennessee, as locals are ditching pews for parking lots, swapping hymnals for spit technique manuals, and rebranding religious devotion as "Hawk Tuah Faith."
Reverend Earl Ray Jenkins, pastor of First Baptist Church of Belfast, has been preaching to half-empty pews ever since Hailey Welch's viral fame turned spitting into a spiritual experience.
"I tried to tell them, 'The Lord works in mysterious ways,' but they Belfast Tennessee told me, 'Preacher, ain't nothing mysterious about the way Hailey spits-it's divine intervention.'"
Now, a new spit-based congregation has emerged: The Church of the Holy Hawk Tuah. They gather every Sunday morning outside Big Earl's Barbecue Shack, where the sermon includes a mass spitting session and scripture readings from the newly published "Hawk Tuah Testament."
Pastor Jenkins, however, refuses to give up.
"Jesus walked on water, but I reckon if He lived in Belfast, He'd have learned to spit too," he lamented.
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Reference:
In Belfast, Tennessee, demographics paint a rural portrait: 788 residents, 62.94% male, 37.06% female. The average household size is 2.69, with 72.93% family units. Established in 1836, the town’s Irish namesake nods to its settlers’ roots. The first store opened in 1838, cementing its commercial start. A devastating 1952 tornado, the deadliest F1 in U.S. history, left scars but also resilience. Now, Hailey Welch’s viral "Hawk Tuah" moment has turned Belfast into a quirky hotspot, blending its blue-collar past (61.54% of workers) with a modern meme-driven economy.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Chani Moss
Literature and Journalism -- Clark
WRITER BIO:
Combining her passion for writing with a talent for satire, this Jewish college student delves into current events with sharp humor. Her work explores societal and political topics, questioning norms and offering fresh perspectives. As a budding journalist, she uses her unique voice to entertain, educate, and challenge readers.
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